A friend and I went to scout it out for a winter romantic getaway, and even though we worried about hypothermia a few times, my guy will benefit from this reconnaissance.

If you go to Santa Fe in winter, you own it. Imagine being alone in the picturesque square, alone chatting up the salespeople, and able to drop into even the most popular restaurants on a whim. With the touristy crowds gone, we could enjoy a spontaneous day — and get the best of everything.

We stayed at the centrally located Inn at Loretto — at a substantial discount — and had a huge colorful room with a monster king bed (which  we treated like two twins) and a very nice bathroom with an elegant shower.  Unfortunately, the fireplace was just decorative (although it did have wonderful supersized candles in it) and in terms of romance reconnaissance the room didn’t rate since I require a great bathtub on my checklist.

But what was perfect: going down Canyon Road and having the galleries to ourselves, and finding a little Tea House on that road, frequented by locals, with a cozy little couch and a series of small rooms to get alone in; going to my “must do” in Santa Fe — Ten Thousand Waves — and getting such a great massage in the Japanese themed “peoples spa” that we went back the next evening. I also went back to the amazing craft museum for the umpteenth time and the Indian museum — but this was the first time I had these museums to myself!

This lack of business isn’t good for Santa Fe, but I’d prefer braving the cold (I will dress a whole lot more warmly next time) than battling for reservations. We had no trouble getting into Don Gaspars for breakfast, brunch or dinner. We did  all three  because  I love that funky place with the great location and fabulous New Mexican recipes.

Sure, if you are an arts maven you have to go in the summer, but if you want a getaway just for the two of you, go in the winter.

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Pepper Schwartz serves as the AARP love and relationship ambassador and is the chief relationships expert at Perfectmatch.com.

The Westin Lagunamar in Cancun was actually a wonderful answer to the “how do you combine romance and family” question. The Westin Villa formula on this site provides a good answer. The twenty-thirty-something contingent had studios with Jacuzzis — just about big enough for two (rather small) people — really good views of the pool, and beyond that, the ocean and beach. Critically, they also had kitchens — so everyone could have their leisurely morning alone time — and at night, we piled into my one bedroom that had a dining room that seated all seven of us.

My room in building number nine had an especially romantic view. I was almost on the beach and the welcome sound of the waves (audible in most of the rooms) was especially present in mine.

The two young couples were happy just getting the usual drinks either in or near the very large infinity pool — but occasionally the itch to see Mexico presented itself. We sucked in our breath and managed to get all of us in our rented Dodge station wagon and headed out with a few trepidations: the staff at the hotel seemed to be quite shocked that we were driving instead of going on the huge buses that ferry most tourists to the major attractions. We were a little nervous too: I opted for the daily insurance coverage on the car, something I never do in the states.

Our outings were almost total successes. We all loved tubing down the river and lagoon at Xel-Ha, a  snorkel park and natural aquarium  on the Caribbean sea. There was a portion that went through a mangrove where the couples (in tubes built for two) could snuggle and play — and adrenaline moments in the more open water — such as jumping off cliffs into the water at  resort-approved spots (my son did that one) and farther down the inlet, a place where couples could walk over the water on ropes (while holding onto ropes overhead (none of us dared to do it). Since adrenaline does actually make the heart grow fonder, the couples seemed to be substantially more affectionate with each other by the end of the day.

We were mindful that you could have too much family and not enough romance. So at night we looked for places that the couples could feel their hearts beat as one. My romantic restaurant find this time was Thai — serving food of the same name, located in the shopping mall, on the bay, across from the Westin. I know, it was in a mall, but Thai is composed of a beautiful series of gently lit open air rooms and the nicest ones are private and cantilevered over the water looking back at city lights.

A few days later, we went to the Mayan ruins — and even though I had been to both Tulum and Chichen Itza, I continue to be amazed at the sophistication of these ancient temples (some built as early as the 6^th century, A.D.).  Both ruins had significantly more archaeological excavation since I had been there eight years ago, and that was the good news; the bad news was that you can no longer go into the main temple — and the magnificent jade jaguar is no longer on public view.

So, I said our outings were “almost” perfect. Well, driving back after a long day at the archaeological sites we got to meet the local authorities. We were going about ten miles per hour over the limit: not a good idea in Mexico. Yes, we got waved over by the police. And no, we didn’t want to go to the police station. And yes, the policeman would accept our cash. In fact, he would accept less cash than he asked for because we didn’t have a lot of money on us and he didn’t take MasterCard.

Oh well, this made it the official Mexican tourist experience. Everyone still had a great time and the young couples said they’d do it again in a heartbeat.

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Pepper Schwartz serves as the AARP love and relationship ambassador and is the chief relationships expert at Perfectmatch.com.

Brendan Spiegel reported on the Hauz Khas Village district, hidden among narrow lanes behind the ruins of a 13th-century mosque and royal tomb, in the New York Times.

It looks like a great place to spend a day or two on your next visit to Delhi. I want to go to the bookshop, Yodakin.

Ziplines are all the rage at adventure resorts and ski areas, but sometimes we forget that they originally served a practical purpose to move people and materials across impassable chasms. And sometimes we need to be reminded that they still do.

In a report on Slate from Colombia, Joshua Foer takes a ride on a cable that’s been getting daily use for 60 years. Do you want to hitch a ride?

On a gloriously, sunny crisp clear day in SF, I started wading through our snow gear in preparation for a school snow trip to the Sierras. It must be mentioned that keeping snow gear up to date for growing kids is tricky, but I think I’ve got it all sorted and labeled. All this talk of snow and winter got me thinking about my own winter bucket list, winter adventures high on my “to do” agenda.

When most of the country is dreaming of beaches and sun, I’m dreaming of the white stuff. I love snow and all the fun one can have outdoors when the temperature drops and precipitation turns to flakes. Three unusual activities came to mind. One, visiting Sweden’s Ice Hotel, but I already posted about that one.

The second, skating Holland’s many canals has been a lifelong dream. Inspired by Hans Brinker and the Silver Skates, skating the canals has become a rarity due to pollution and climate change. 2009 was a big year for canal skating and many Dutch citizens rediscovered their soul when they strapped on their skates two winters ago.

The Dutch are famous for their speed skating prowess, but many races take place in other Nordic countries. Tour Skating, a sport and recreational form of long distance ice-skating on natural ice, has grown in popularity.  The idea of packing a lunch and skating 10 miles, or maybe skating to a cozy restaurant with my family or a group of friends, just sounds tantalizing.

When the canals froze in 2009, cafes popped up and benches were added, so that old and young, fit and game, all who wanted could take to the ice.  Emergency rooms did see a tremendous uptick in fractures and bruises, but most would agree the amazing community spirit and fun is worth the risk! Here’s a well produced video that will get you in the mood for the 2011 season.

The third winter fantasy is all about maple syrup. I grew up in New England and I’m not sure why I never went maple sugaring but I definitely am planning to do it soon. I just bought some the other day and boy it is liquid gold!

March brings the maple-sugaring season to most of New England. Tasting the sugar straight from the trees sounds divine, but is best done with expert guidance. There are a number of “houses” that offer tours in Massachusetts, Vermont and New Hampshire as well as other parts of New England. The maple-tapping season depends upon freezing temperatures and warmer days causing maple sap to flow. When planning a visit to the Northeast to tour sugar shacks processing maple syrup, plan on the first full weekend in March.